I think it is safe to say that a lot of people take up running so they can eat more of the foods they love. Naturally, some crazy runners out there have decided to combine their love of running and food. A good number of races have popped up across the nation over the years. In fact, Runner’s World has compiled a Bucket List of 10 Wacky Food Races.

By far, the most popular type of food / beverage race is The Beer Mile. The world record for the beer mile currently stands at 4 minutes and 34 seconds! Serious kudos to that guy!

The Beer Mile Logo

Over the last couple of years, the Taco Mile has been rising in popularity. The editor’s of Runner’s World even staged their own taco mile on Cinco De Mayo this year. I know that this opinion won’t be popular, but I believe that tacos are hardly worthy of having their own speed mile event.

The Taco Mile Logo

As a runner, and as a food lover, I have been getting the itch to participate in a food race. That being said, I have some issues with participating in the two most popular types of food races. The beer mile is out because I don’t drink alcohol or carbonation. I don’t think my Mormon bishop would be too pleased to see a member of his flock throwing back a can of beer in between each lap of a 4 lap race (just a hunch).

Why not participate in or stage a taco mile? Tacos are a fine food, but I don’t find them worth risking serious gastro intestinal distress for.

What food do I consider worthy of risking possible gastro intestinal distress and regurgitation for? Yep! You guessed it. PIZZA!!!

I hereby declare on this, the sixth day of May in the year of our Lord 2017 that I will be staging my very own LARGE Pizza Mile in the great state of Utah! I have not zeroed in on a firm date for my inaugural pizza mile yet (I need some more training), but I have finalized the rules that I (and any runners who choose to join me) will be held to.

The Inaugural Short, Round, and Fast LARGE Pizza Mile

Event Facebook Page

Who: Anyone

What: The Running of a Large Pizza Mile

  • Cost: Just The Cost of Your Large Pizza (and Maybe Your Pride If You Drop Out)

When: Late Summer 2017

Where: A Track in Utah County

Why: Why Not?

The Short, Round, and Fast Large Pizza Mile Rules

  • All Participants MUST Consume an 8 Slice Pizza During the Race (2 Slices Between Each Lap)
    1. The Pizza Must Be Warm
    2. Cheese Pizza is NOT Allowed (Hawaiian Pizza Is) 
      1. Negative Comments About A Participants Choice of Hawaiian Pizza Will Result in a 1 Minute Time Penalty to the Offensive Comment Making Participants Finishing Time
    3. This Event is BYOP (Bring Your Own Pizza) Unless The Proprietor of Short, Round, and Fast Can Get A Local Pizza Franchise Owner or A Kind Hearted, Deep Pocketed Local Running Enthusiast To Cover The Cost
  • Participants Will Only Have 2 Minutes* to Consume Their Two Slices In-between Laps (*Time Limit Subject To Change Based on Training Run Results)
    1. The Participant Will Not Be Allowed To Start Their Next Lap Until They Have Shown A Volunteer Their Empty Mouth
    2. Runner’s Who Take Longer Than 2 Minutes to Consume Their Two Slices Will Be Disqualified
  • If A Participant Throws-Up They Are Automatically Disqualified (That’s Right! If You Spew, You Get A DQ)


  • The Weight Division* in This Event Is For Male Runners That Are Under 200 Pounds and Female Runners That Weigh Less Than 145 Pounds
    1. *Runner’s In The Weight Division May Be Forced To Add a 2 Minute Handicap To Their Finish Times (Here’s Looking At Your Bill Hiatt and Jonathan Crampton)

The Awards

The Top Male and Female Finisher Will Each Receive a Coveted Golden Pizza Cutter To Display Proudly in Their Home

I will post again soon when I have finalized the date and location of this epic event. Until then, you can bet that I will be consuming many pizzas and running many miles while I train to take home the Golden Pizza Cutter!

So how ’bout it all you crazy runners and food lovers out there? Are you in?!

Link to the Facebook Event Page – Come Show Some Support!

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