Would You Ever Run A Race Naked?

About a week ago, one of my good running friends, Monte Riding, posed an interesting question in our groups Facebook community. The question? Would any of you ever run a race naked? The thread immediately exploded with responses on both sides of the fence. I’ve placed some of my favorites below.

  • “Hell yes! I’m all about super natural running!” – my personal favorite for creativity šŸ™‚
  • “Mind is made up. Bucket list.”
  • “Don’t things need to be strapped down in some way?”
  • “Haha…..You only live once. Why the heck not?”
  • “Nobody wants to see me nekked let alone bouncing around nekked.Ā #barf
  • “I’m in! I’ll bring the GoPro!”
  • IĀ wont run in the buff…but if someone did run naked in a race IĀ was doing, it probably would make me run a lot faster”

Naturally, a little later in the evening, I told my wife about the thread and posed the question to her? What would you think if I did a naked race? She skipped right over the blank confused stare and laughed out loud. “You?!” You see, while I think of myself as edgy and spontaneous, my wife likes to remind me that I am more of a Danny Tanner from Full House kind of guy.

danny tanner - full house

I always try to refute her claim that I am like Danny Tanner. It is far more glamorous to be the cool uncle Jesse type of guy.

Have Mercy 4

After some playful banter back and forth with my wife, I was forced to admit, I’m very much a Danny Tanner type of individual. I almost always hate being spontaneous, and the only place I can be considered edgy is within the confines of Utah County Utah; the only place in the world where a raging caffeine addiction and the propensity to say a few curse words places you on the edgy list.

I’ve taken the couple of days to think about whether I would ever do naked race. My initial gut reaction was, hell no! I’ve documented my battle with negative body image on this blog. If I don’t even like to look at myself naked, how in the world would I deal with being surrounded by a few hundred naked people? That being said, after thinking about the idea of running a naked race, I came to the surprising conclusion that I would definitely do one under the right circumstances. What are those circumstances?

1.) I would never do a naked race if anyone I know was also participating. I love getting group photos like the one below from last Monday’s Shaggy Mountain group run.

Shaggy Mountain 4

I’m pretty sure our group dynamics would change if the photo above looked more like the one below.

NATURISTS NUDISTS PHOTOGRAPH

2.) I would like the race to be a larger race like the Bay to BreakersĀ in San Francisco. The race regularly has 80,000 participants and it is not comprised of 100% naked runners. Many runners run in costumes side by side with the nude ones. The idea of participating in a huge race like this one where there are naked and non naked runners alike makes me more likely to participate because there would be more anonymity than a smaller 100-200 person race held on a nudist ranch.

3.) Ā OneĀ wordĀ Bodyglide! Being a little thicker than the average runner I rely heavily on my spandex to protect my muscular thighs from chaffing. I can only imagine what naked 5k – 10k would do to my inner thighs!

4.) Finally, I would be attending theĀ race ALONE. Not even my wife would be allowed to support me at a naked race.

So after doing some soul searching, I came to the conclusion that I would do a naked race. After all, life can get a little dull if you never try new things. I think the creator of Calvin and Hobbes said it best when he created the cartoon below…

Life Is Short Play Naked

How about you? Would you ever do a naked race. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

2 Comments

  1. Erika Whitney

    June 6, 2014 at 1:59 pm

    I wouldn’t do a naked race for the simple fact that “the girls” need the support of a sports bra, at a minimum. But I did participate in a Cupid’s Undie Run (http://www.cupidsundierun.com/) this past February, which is less of a race and more of a fundraiser, but does involve running outside in your underwear on Valentine’s Day, which in Cleveland, during the polar vortex, is no joke.

  2. I so would do that except … I am afraid my knees would get chafed.

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